Under or Over - Which one are you?
When it comes to anxiety coping mechanisms, we can almost categories ourselves:
Being an Under or an Over!
An Under-Functioning person steps back, allows others to do it & fix it - aka Take Away Coffee.
An Over Functioning person steps forward & does it all - aka Make Your own Coffee (and others).
Brené Brown (professor, lecturer & author) alerted my attention to Under & Over in her great Podcast – Unlocking Us where she explored anxiety & calm.
When there is change, people seek out to find their normal - aiming to cope & seek calm.
This current continuous change being experienced is becoming a new normal which requires us to consider a new way to cope & seek calm in the sea of anxiety.
If you are an Under, you may need to take charge of the anxiety and if you’re an Over, you may need to sit on your hands and approach anxiety differently.
Dr Harriet Lerner (psychologist, author, Ted talker) helps us turn anger & anxiety into a constructive force - a friend to help reshape our lives.
It is her work of Under Functioning & Over Functioning relationships, we learn to change our contribution: to focus on the problem, rather than focus on the person - as we cannot change others.
We can only work on ourselves to have a better effect & impact on others.
This is the act of self-leadership - being self-aware of what we do & the action we can take.
To make a difference & to remove distractions, requires action.
Tomorrow, I’ll explore being accountable in the current environment - reviewing rituals, well-being, boundaries & structure.