Here’s Friday’s Advice
Be aware of the Monster
It’s luring you with the false pretense
That giving advice is the fastest & best way to solve a situation or problem.
Whilst it’s necessary at times, according to Michael Bungay Stanier, author of The Advice Trap, taming your Advice Monster has benefits:
· It encourages you to stay curious a little longer
· Forces you to make every conversation coach like
· Prompts you to ask questions
· And listen to the response.
Moving from giving advice to asking questions is like installing a new operating system as opposed to downloading a new app.
We’re talking of moving from Easy Change to Hard Change because we’re focusing on Future You – rather than tinkering with Present You.
The Advice Monster has three personas – and they’re all concerned about failing:
Tell it – you must have the answer
Save it – you must be responsible for it all
Control it – you must stay in control
Which one has struck a chord?
Or, have you witnessed one in another person?
The Advice Monster believes that you’re better than the other person.
Get to know what rattles the cage of your Advice Monster - what triggers naughty behaviours e.g.:
I blurt out my idea, I give the solution, I don’t ask them or I fill awkward silences.
If your Advice Monster is on the loose, people are opting out of the conversation. If you’re sending emails or texts … your Advice Monster is probably on the keys!
Michael’s previous book, The Coaching Habit, made the complex simple by providing 7 questions to coach and these are transported into this book. We’re reminded how to structure daily conversations around them to keep the Advice Monster in its cage.
What does your Advice Monster do?