YES, BUT ….!
It’s a response which prevents an idea to grow, a conversation to continue and possibly a relationship to foster.
The frequency of ‘YES, BUT’ as a response concerns me as a Mentor, Coach, Trainer and Facilitator.
‘YES, BUT’ is a statement of resistance.
Here’s what I hear when a client says “YES, BUT”:
😕It’s a silly idea.
😕You don’t understand me.
😕It won’t work in my industry.
😕I don’t want to make a fool of myself.
😕I’m not confident.
😕I need more information.
I’m not interested in what you’re advising me.
When you hear “YES BUT” as a response – what do you hear?
Whatever you do, don’t argue.
Don’t force your ideas, opinions, and rules.
My approach is to understand more when I hear ‘YES, BUT’.
I lean in, ask (open) questions to get behind ‘YES, BUT’ and listen.
When it becomes evident to my client that ‘YES BUT’ is a resistance, I suggest using the ‘YES AND’ technique. (I’ll share this technique tomorrow.)
If you hear “YES BUT” or hear yourself say “YES BUT” then stop and ask, what is it that I am resisting?
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