We’ve all perfected the art of blaming. When we feel challenged, it’s natural to protect ourselves and remove or run from the threat. And we can be heard blaming our sore knees as we flee.

Blaming others for not helping, blaming the alarm for not waking us in the morning or blaming our bad luck for not getting that new job are all common examples.

So, while we’re on the Blame Bandwagon, we need to blame and hold our Resilience responsible for our Reputation!

If people aren’t talking about us, positively, at the Friday Night drinks session, then our Reputation must be blamed and held accountable for not doing the job of making it easy for people to talk about us.

Yet, our Reputation is linked to our Resilience; our Reputation is fueled by our Resilience.

Consider this model which generates great conversation during my workshops.

Let me explain:

1. Reputation - this is what people say about you when you’re not in the room. It’s what you’re known for doing and in particular, how consistent you are at performing this way. It’s what people think of you.

2. Presence - it’s when you’re physically in the room and how people feel about you - it’s the ‘confidence’ signals which you omit which people pick up on their emotional radar.

3. Confidence - is how you feel about being perceived by others, whether you’re in the room, or not. Your confidence levels change - dependent on what resilience you practice.

4. Resilience - is what you purposely do to think and feel happy about yourself.

To tackle confidence, which is what I hear most frequently being blamed, we need to explore the breadth of resilience:

Physical - looking after your body, your sleep hygiene, boosting your energy and even selecting clothes which feel great and highlight your features and hide your flaws

Mental - flipping how you think about your confidence, being optimistic opposed to pessimistic, flipping your stories or as Brene Brown says, purposely “changing the ending of your story”

Social - consciously choosing who you communicate with and how you communicate and it’s the company you keep; some people lift you whist others drag you down

Emotional - passionately connecting with the vision of what you wish to occur in your life.

Having daily rituals and practices which focus on boosting these four resilience areas will affect your confidence; positively enabling you to have more presence when you walk into a room - whether that be attending a meeting, on a date or asking your boss for a promotion.

When you hear yourself blaming, consider what you’ve done or not done to contribute to this situation. Rather, be more accountable for what you do and take a breath before reacting and choose to respond with an accountable statement.

One of my clients worked solidly for 30 days on her resilience. She had completed a self assessment and had rated all four areas, rather low. She increased her walking, started with morning affirmations, created a vision board and purchased herself a new jacket as a reward. Her feedback about herself was glowing - she was receiving feedback in her office that she was confidently contributing her view and she was told that people were talking about her, positively. Boom!

What will you do today to focus on your Resilience?

Which area will you purposely focus on with the intent to boost your confidence and enhance your reputation?

And, who will you reach out to, to help you with your next 30 days?

Please connect with me and I’ll become your Accountability Partner.

Now’s the time to get yourself ready for 2020. You have 15 weeks to get your Reputation in order.