20 Tips To Lead with Resilience & Emotional Intelligence

LEADING WITH RESILIENCE & EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE

The Female Factor is a leadership program for women to boost their confidence and have a positive presence in their business, workplace and community. Women have the X Factor, the chromosomal difference which when celebrated, and lived, makes a remarkable difference to the lives of others.

The Female Factor is a leadership program for women to boost their confidence and have a positive presence in their business, workplace and community. Women have the X Factor, the chromosomal difference which when celebrated, and lived, makes a remarkable difference to the lives of others.

To future-proof yourself, your career, your business, your workplace and community, we look to building skills, furthering our knowledge, increasing our connections and continue to squeeze in doing a bloody good job at our current role, or should I say, roles.

Taking on additional roles, for women, is just in our DNA; we need to boost our resilience and our emotional intelligence to maintain the momentum and tuned into our mind, body & soul.

We need to consciously build our muscles and skills in these two areas, resilience and emotional intelligence, to enable us to lead our life, business and a workplace.

These 20 tips, which I’ve gathered through observation, my reading, research, my own practice and through the many conversations with women on my The Female Factor Leadership Program.

 

I’ve categorized these tips into three levels:

PREPARATION – start with the internal; think and feel, don’t rush in too quickly, get yourself mentally and emotionally prepared

PRACTISE – share the practice by practising together, creating a movement by being a role-model and holding yourself accountable; people will begin to expect what you expect and more likely to follow your lead

PERMANENCY – consider achieving a habit status of being resilient and emotionally intelligent.

 

PREPARATION

Principles: re-evaluate your principles and consider how these align with resilience & emotional intelligence. Being principally minded means saying “no” when necessary if you find you are hurtling down the old familiar track of saying “yes” to please, when behaviours are disconnected from what’s most important to you.

People Person: have a mindset that you are a ‘people person’ with the intent to set your team up for effective, happy and positive work experiences. With a desire to achieve this goal, you know that you need to be more mindful of how you work and lead people.

Picture of Shared Success: move from being self-centred to a place of shared success. Continually visualise how ‘we can do this together’, remind yourself that you’re not on your own, that asking for help is normal and that asking for others’ point of views is sharing the load.

Perspective: a critical element of emotional intelligence is gaining perspective about what’s important and what’s a waste of your energy. Recognise that you are human and that it’s tough to keep focused. Humans are social beings and appreciate social connection, not just pumping out volumes of work.

Permission: give yourself permission to be vulnerable and apply a new approach to how you operate – give yourself permission to talk about how you’re feeling and how you want to feel. The Female Factor is about celebrating your feelings.

Ponder thoughts: question yourself about your feelings. Have an internal conversation and journal your thoughts about your feelings. This is one of your first emotionally intelligent practices to make a change in your leadership style. Insight and hindsight open the door to foresight – the aim to use your X factor in The Female Factor.

Purpose: remind yourself of your purpose of being resilient and tuning into your emotional intelligence. Write yourself a mantra or put a reminder on your phone – let it be the purpose of your day.

 

PRACTISE

Passion: pour your passion into exercising your resilience and emotional intelligence and it will do the heavy lifting.

Presence: your presence captures the hearts and minds of the people in the room in which you walk into; it’s how you converse, approach people, engage and leave the room. How you hold yourself and communicate, is determined by your resilience and your emotional framework.

Pause: before you react to something or with someone, PAUSE and consider how you could respond better, knowing what you know about other people, your PAUSE is your weapon of choice.

Partner with your Team be their coach, help them learn and increase their performance. Be sincere and humble. Don’t be a ‘know all’, rather partner up and practise and learn together.

Power: know that your power can be perceived positively and negatively; be in control of your own power, in your language and actions. Being ‘right all the time’ and your status can damage the resilience and relationship with others. Use your power for the force of good. Apologize when you wouldn’t to value your relationship over your ego.

Positive Interactions: look for opportunities to find positive interactions with team members which you can provide positive feedback. The biggest disconnect in business is feedback – we don’t reassure and reinforce what we expect.

Point of View: leaders need to be trusted, quickly, and what engenders this trust is being heard, empathised with understood. Your point of view is secondary. It’s paramount to hear your team and colleagues’ point of view to reduce fear, anxiety and create hope and joy in the workplace.

Protect your feelings: become more aware of how you respond to feedback (verbal and your body language). Flip how you react and respond and welcome any feedback as being helpful feedback – whether that be about yourself or a ‘window’ into understanding the other person better.

 

PERMANENCY

Perfection: this is the enemy of the good – don’t believe it will happen overnight and don’t believe it will have an end – you’ll always be aiming to practise to be perfect and the goal posts will move, and you’ll be tested to the core. Focus on practising, not perfecting.

Personal Plan: sharpen your Emotional Intelligence by making time to purposely behave with emotional intelligence and record reactions and responses. Plan to maintain your resilience by equipping your resources into the categories of emotional, physical, mental and social which you can tap into when needed.

Practise the Practice: continue to share with your team that you’re practising resilience and emotional intelligence to heighten their awareness of the behaviours which make the difference.

Persistence – keep at it, keep practising, keep experimenting, keep tweaking and above all, remind yourself why you’re doing what you’re doing.

Permanent – as James Clear said in his book, Atomic Habits, it may take 10,000 hours to form a new habit. Good Luck to make your resilient and emotional intelligence, permanent!

Please connect and contribute to this list of my tips to practise and in particular, lead others in Resilience and Emotional Intelligence. There so many wonderful practices practised by people which I haven’t captured. Your sharing will boost the resilience of other women.

For details about The Female Factor - CLICK HERE

To connect with me and discuss how we can potentially work together - CLICK HERE

Linkedin's Holy Grail

Linkedin's Holy Grail

I’ll admit that I’ve never been a fan of LinkedIn. I’ve found it clunky, awkward to navigate and discussion is limited.  However, knowing that Linkedin has had a dramatic impact on the way business is done and has been a game changer for us professionals I have persisted.

Thankfully upon a friend’s recommendation (hearing me whinge too often) Connect arrived in the mail.  I was pleasantly surprised flicking through the pages how quickly I found a handful of useful tips which I could immediately implement to improve my profile. I’ve now read the whole book (only takes a few hours) and realised with 40 post-it notes tagging pages to action, that I had found Linkedin’s Holy Grail!

 

 

Authors Jane Anderson, a personal branding expert and Kylie Chown, a LinkedIn Branding expert, have produced an old fashioned paper manual. Yep, Connect contains screen shots, steps and cross dressed it with client case studies, stories, activities, reflections and actions. I scored 78 out of a potential 160 points on my Linkedin Self-Assessment which determined quite clearly that my LinkedIn profile wasn’t working for me. And I was hooked!

I’m looking forward to taming this social media monster by spending seven minutes a day once I’m implemented the ‘Holy Grail’s advice.

My immediate attention was drawn to:

Complete a google search on yourself – where do you turn up? I hope it’s not the second page. This relates to SEO – search engine optimisation – and the tip is to use key words which help you be found and be marketable. I immediately changed my headline which was missing a crucial word in my business – development.

Don’t talk about the past, tell people about your vision and future plans. This stopped me in my tracks. So many folk, including myself, use LinkedIn as their on-line Bio/CV/Resume. The tip is to decide, what you want to achieve with LinkedIn. And, you only have four seconds to grab their attention.

If 19% of the time is spent looking at your photo, is it portraying what you want to achieve? My current photo is a professional photo, however, taken four years ago and it wasn’t planned for social media usage. I’ve decided it’s time to update my headshot. (I’ve actually suggested to a group of women that we do this at the same time.)

Be active and connect in Groups. There is likely to be a group of people who are interested in what you’re passionate about, or share your expertise. I found myself reconnecting with a group of consultants from around the world who share in the use of a common personality profile tool. Again, an immediate outcome of learning what others are doing in their business practice.

Personalise your connection messages and acknowledge people who ask to connect with you e.g. ask them if you can be of any help. How many times have you connected and not said “Hello?” And, here’s the icing on the cake – take notes and add reminders about your connection in the ‘relationships’ section. Who would have known?!

Whilst I’m yet to implement these many changes, I’m now confident I know how to make Linkedin work for me, and appreciate its features. I’m particularly enjoying being proactive connecting with people whose profile clearly identifies with my latest project. I’m saving time connecting with people and meeting them. Tick!

What’s your profile saying? Are you being found for what you want to be found for?

If you are yet to conquer the quest of taming Linkedin, then I highly recommend grabbing Connect. Or, if you’re time poor, I suppose you could ask Jane and Kylie to do it for you!

I’m endeavouring to read 52 Business/Professional/Personal Development books in 52 weeks. Yep, that’s one a week. As I read each book, I’ll share my thoughts, learning and recommendations. If there is a book that you’ve been meaning to read, let me know and I’ll read it for us!