Social Media was abuzz when Brené Brown was in town last week. People were sharing the slides, selfie photos and their key take-outs. A search with #hashtags #brenébrown #brenebrown19 or #growthfaculty will uncover a plethora of iterations.
Brené has established a cult following, with women, who I gather are in awe with her raw confidence and humility and passion in her style and approach. Clad in her standard corduroy jacket, and for us Melbournite’s our standard uniform of black jeans (almost skinny) and a black top.
The armor we wear preventing us to be vulnerable.
Brené speaks from the heart; demonstrating the need to bring more emotion to the conversation. On saying that, she’s a sharpshooter; generous with her clarity.
Her confidence, which is anchored to the realm of her research data and connection to science, is admired by those who are seeking out that same presence. I was surrounded by women taking copious notes, I could hear their audible agreement with her bold statements and I could see the comfort level rise and settle; rise with her challenge to them and the settle when it appeared that everyone else felt the same struggles in family life and in the workplace.
Here’s what has stuck with me:
· To be clear is kind. To be unclear is unkind – I need to bring more clarity to my communication
· Two meetings are required for tough conversations: one for the tough conversation and a planned on to ‘circle back’ to check on thoughts and feelings – I’ve added this to my feedback workshop notes and I am going to apply to my coaching approach using a follow up call post my sessions
· Sit next to the person and put the feedback in front of you both, share the problem – I’ve added this to my feedback workshop notes and I’ve already experimented with a client – worked a treat
· When your values are operationalised, you can hire more confidently – let people see what’s important in your workplace – I talk and work with values every day, however I plan to share this with clients
· Acknowledge that we make stories up in our head, every day and we need to do a fact check before we act – I’ve started asking myself, “is this a true story?”
· Ask for help – this is very personal for me, I need to practise asking for help, more often
· We are emotional beings first and sometimes we think! Which means it’s important to engage with our own emotions, to practise discussing them in the workplace – I’ve fallen away from this habit, so this is on my agenda
· Sit in ‘problem identification mode’ for an uncomfortable amount of time, then move to action. We often move to action without finding the right solution – this will be the toughest change for me, I know I jump too quickly
· Put more value on getting it right rather than being right which is the toughest – guilty!
· Courage is a teachable skill set and it’s measurable and it’s observable – looking forward to sharing these skills with a workshop I’m facilitating this Friday
· We need to create safe courageous work-spaces, including our children’s’ classrooms. (And guess what, over the weekend, Brené launched Daring Classrooms – free information for teachers – I’m still contemplating how to help clients with this lesson
· The number one fear of workers is their irrelevance. However, we will never replace humans with their innate emotional skills – I need to be saying this more frequently with clients who, lack confidence
· And the best piece of advice, you’ve got to set boundaries – what’s OK and what’s NOT OK – do this up front in the workplace, at home and on the sports-ground – I am good at this!
· Shame is the master emotion – I will explore this with myself and my coaching clients
· Increase your self-awareness real estate; expand what you know about yourself and your effect on other people – I’m going to borrow this language and share with clients
· Leaders have all the question (not all the answers) – I’m going to borrow this language and share with clients
Here’s my commitment to be more vulnerable and courageous - to ASK FOR HELP in my business.
It was great to be in the room; although I had listened to Dare to Lead, have made copious notes, it was the immersion in a room filled with a positive vibe created by people who are daring to be more courageous brave leaders.
On a final note, I watched Wine Country on Netflix last night and it’s an absolute hoot to see Brené play herself in this movie!
I’m here to help you become a more effective leader - one who is brave and courageous in this crazy complex world.
We can learn courage and this is the first skill - Rumbling with Vulnerability (embrace the suck!)
