REMOVE & REPLACE - ALTER THE OUTCOME OF YOUR DAY

REMOVE & REPLACE

A practise to alter the outcome of your day.

2020 is looming and whilst many are preparing for the new year, how about we reduce this speed to concentrate on making a subtle alteration to our morning practice to enable an enjoyable remaining three months of 2019.  

There will be no mention of ch**ge; people have an aversion to it.

Rather, let’s view making simple alterations to potentially alter the days outcome.

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Making alternations will help you achieve results from your mind and heart and direct these to your head and hand. How we think and feel drives how we behave.

Alterations commence with these two key words: Remove & Replace.

What can you remove from your daily practice and what will you replace in its absence? Rather than leave a void, we often find it easier to replace with an alternative. For example:

  • Remove thinking worst possible scenario and replace with one possible positive outcome.

  • Remove wondering what someone is thinking about you and replace with the commitment to call that person.

  • Remove feeling hopeless about the work you’re doing and replace with feeling hope that you’ve done your best.

  • Remove talking negatively about yourself and replace with a three positive strengths you bring to the day.

Reviewing your daily thoughts and tapping into the emotions you feel as you eat your breakfast and sip your coffee is paramount to altering your day’s outcome.

Remove what’s bothering you most and replace it with renewed energy, a new intention.

Tapping is my Remove & Replace ritual. Tapping (Emotional Freedom Technique) is a simple practice of connecting to the present negative emotions which need to be removed (away from the Amygdala in the brain - fight & flight) and then rewired with helpful positive emotions and thoughts (Prefrontal Cortex area of the brain - seeking to build trust). You can research this technique and give it a test run. I personally find it effective and powerful.

An example: I’ve created a bucket of actions and feel overwhelmed with its weight; I acknowledge this heavy feeling. I am replacing it with a prioritized list of what I need to do and a feeling of being in control.

If it’s too simple, here’s a lengthier action specific version of my Remove & Replace process which I use with my clients:

PROCESS - Example One

  1. Review my day

My head is like a bucket. It’s filled with pictures of the items at home and business which need to be completed. I feel overwhelmed and I’m struggling to know where to start.

2. Rate my current performance to achieve my day

My business is a 5 out of 10. My family will entertain themselves today – they are 9/10. The house is tidy – it’s 8/10.

3. Relate my purpose to my day

Today, my business needs more attention as the family have had my undivided attention for the past two days.

4. Results & Rewards I prefer to achieve

Completing five items for my business will enable me to enjoy Thursday & Friday with the family and enjoy some domestic bliss.

5. REMOVE OBSTACLES

TO FIX THE FEELING OF BEING OVERWHELMED, I TELL MYSELF THAT I NEED TO REMOVE THE BUCKET.

6. REPLACE WITH ALTERNATIVE

IN REPLACEMENT OF THE BUCKET I WILL CREATE A PRIORITIZED LIST OF ALL THE ACTIONS IN MY HEAD AND THE TIME REQUIRED FOR EACH ITEM. MY DAY IS SET OUT

7. Repeat process to make it a daily habit

Tomorrow I’ll review my effectiveness of this alteration.

PROCESS - Example Two

  1. Review my day

I have a meeting planned with the team today. I’m not looking forward to it. They’re a great bunch however they just don’t give their best and aren’t meeting their targets.

 2. Rate my current performance to achieve my day

The meeting is a 4/10 – I forgot to send the agenda and I need to give negative feedback to the whole team.

3. Relate my purpose to my day

This is my role, I need to make this meeting effective as I’m responsible for their performance. This needs my focused attention.

4. Results & Rewards I prefer to achieve

I will ask the team to create the meeting agenda and give them the feedback immediately to get it on the table. I need the team to trust me and I need to trust them.

5. REMOVE OBSTACLES

TO FIX THE TEAM MEETING, I TELL MYSELF TO STOP BLAMING THE TEAM AND WORRYING ABOUT THE MEETING AND TO VIEW MY DAY DIFFERENTLY AND FEEL ACCOUNTABLE FOR THIS PROBLEM.

6. REPLACE WITH ALTERNATIVE

I REPLACE THE WORRY WITH A PLANNED COMMUNICATION TO SEND TO THE GROUP REQUESTING THEIR INPUT FOR THE TEAM MEETING AGENDA. I PRACTISE HOW TO SHARE THE FEEDBACK WHICH REQUIRES AN ACCOUNTABLE AND EFFECTIVE OUTCOME.

7. Repeat process to make it a daily habit

Tomorrow I’ll review my effectiveness of this alteration.

What will you do to start your day. What will you remove and replace?

I’d love to hear how you can implement my Remove & Replace process.

20 Tips To Lead with Resilience & Emotional Intelligence

LEADING WITH RESILIENCE & EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE

The Female Factor is a leadership program for women to boost their confidence and have a positive presence in their business, workplace and community. Women have the X Factor, the chromosomal difference which when celebrated, and lived, makes a remarkable difference to the lives of others.

The Female Factor is a leadership program for women to boost their confidence and have a positive presence in their business, workplace and community. Women have the X Factor, the chromosomal difference which when celebrated, and lived, makes a remarkable difference to the lives of others.

To future-proof yourself, your career, your business, your workplace and community, we look to building skills, furthering our knowledge, increasing our connections and continue to squeeze in doing a bloody good job at our current role, or should I say, roles.

Taking on additional roles, for women, is just in our DNA; we need to boost our resilience and our emotional intelligence to maintain the momentum and tuned into our mind, body & soul.

We need to consciously build our muscles and skills in these two areas, resilience and emotional intelligence, to enable us to lead our life, business and a workplace.

These 20 tips, which I’ve gathered through observation, my reading, research, my own practice and through the many conversations with women on my The Female Factor Leadership Program.

 

I’ve categorized these tips into three levels:

PREPARATION – start with the internal; think and feel, don’t rush in too quickly, get yourself mentally and emotionally prepared

PRACTISE – share the practice by practising together, creating a movement by being a role-model and holding yourself accountable; people will begin to expect what you expect and more likely to follow your lead

PERMANENCY – consider achieving a habit status of being resilient and emotionally intelligent.

 

PREPARATION

Principles: re-evaluate your principles and consider how these align with resilience & emotional intelligence. Being principally minded means saying “no” when necessary if you find you are hurtling down the old familiar track of saying “yes” to please, when behaviours are disconnected from what’s most important to you.

People Person: have a mindset that you are a ‘people person’ with the intent to set your team up for effective, happy and positive work experiences. With a desire to achieve this goal, you know that you need to be more mindful of how you work and lead people.

Picture of Shared Success: move from being self-centred to a place of shared success. Continually visualise how ‘we can do this together’, remind yourself that you’re not on your own, that asking for help is normal and that asking for others’ point of views is sharing the load.

Perspective: a critical element of emotional intelligence is gaining perspective about what’s important and what’s a waste of your energy. Recognise that you are human and that it’s tough to keep focused. Humans are social beings and appreciate social connection, not just pumping out volumes of work.

Permission: give yourself permission to be vulnerable and apply a new approach to how you operate – give yourself permission to talk about how you’re feeling and how you want to feel. The Female Factor is about celebrating your feelings.

Ponder thoughts: question yourself about your feelings. Have an internal conversation and journal your thoughts about your feelings. This is one of your first emotionally intelligent practices to make a change in your leadership style. Insight and hindsight open the door to foresight – the aim to use your X factor in The Female Factor.

Purpose: remind yourself of your purpose of being resilient and tuning into your emotional intelligence. Write yourself a mantra or put a reminder on your phone – let it be the purpose of your day.

 

PRACTISE

Passion: pour your passion into exercising your resilience and emotional intelligence and it will do the heavy lifting.

Presence: your presence captures the hearts and minds of the people in the room in which you walk into; it’s how you converse, approach people, engage and leave the room. How you hold yourself and communicate, is determined by your resilience and your emotional framework.

Pause: before you react to something or with someone, PAUSE and consider how you could respond better, knowing what you know about other people, your PAUSE is your weapon of choice.

Partner with your Team be their coach, help them learn and increase their performance. Be sincere and humble. Don’t be a ‘know all’, rather partner up and practise and learn together.

Power: know that your power can be perceived positively and negatively; be in control of your own power, in your language and actions. Being ‘right all the time’ and your status can damage the resilience and relationship with others. Use your power for the force of good. Apologize when you wouldn’t to value your relationship over your ego.

Positive Interactions: look for opportunities to find positive interactions with team members which you can provide positive feedback. The biggest disconnect in business is feedback – we don’t reassure and reinforce what we expect.

Point of View: leaders need to be trusted, quickly, and what engenders this trust is being heard, empathised with understood. Your point of view is secondary. It’s paramount to hear your team and colleagues’ point of view to reduce fear, anxiety and create hope and joy in the workplace.

Protect your feelings: become more aware of how you respond to feedback (verbal and your body language). Flip how you react and respond and welcome any feedback as being helpful feedback – whether that be about yourself or a ‘window’ into understanding the other person better.

 

PERMANENCY

Perfection: this is the enemy of the good – don’t believe it will happen overnight and don’t believe it will have an end – you’ll always be aiming to practise to be perfect and the goal posts will move, and you’ll be tested to the core. Focus on practising, not perfecting.

Personal Plan: sharpen your Emotional Intelligence by making time to purposely behave with emotional intelligence and record reactions and responses. Plan to maintain your resilience by equipping your resources into the categories of emotional, physical, mental and social which you can tap into when needed.

Practise the Practice: continue to share with your team that you’re practising resilience and emotional intelligence to heighten their awareness of the behaviours which make the difference.

Persistence – keep at it, keep practising, keep experimenting, keep tweaking and above all, remind yourself why you’re doing what you’re doing.

Permanent – as James Clear said in his book, Atomic Habits, it may take 10,000 hours to form a new habit. Good Luck to make your resilient and emotional intelligence, permanent!

Please connect and contribute to this list of my tips to practise and in particular, lead others in Resilience and Emotional Intelligence. There so many wonderful practices practised by people which I haven’t captured. Your sharing will boost the resilience of other women.

For details about The Female Factor - CLICK HERE

To connect with me and discuss how we can potentially work together - CLICK HERE

WHY DO WE SUCK AT FEEDBACK?

why do we suck at feedback?

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The real question I want to ask is, why do we invest so heavily into Performance Management Systems rather than creating feedback skills as the fundamental component of the workplace culture?

Organisations continue to focus on the perfection of their performance system when the complex problem to solve is the practice of effective daily conversations which includes performance feedback.

Consequence: Employees leave managers, not companies

What I find, when talking with people, is that so many feedback opportunities are missed. Whether you’re walking down the corridor or sitting in a meeting together, it only takes a few minutes to provide the feedback which could be a game-changer for someone.

Maybe we think by saying “You did a good job” or writing an email advising a team member “I noticed you were late for a meeting” is good enough.

Nope – it’s not good enough.

It is essential when providing feedback, is that it is rich in data, it’s interactive, given with the honest intent to increase the performance of that person (or team), and that it makes an impact. And you know that it makes an impact because the communication flows and loops and there is action.

 Between the intent and the impact is where the skill comes into play.

 Research: It’s more than a hunch

Research tells us that people leave their manager, they don’t leave their company. Read that again.

In the 2015 Gallup Survey ‘The State of the American Manager’, 50% of people interviewed had left their company, at some stage in their career, to escape their manager.

People observe you. If you’re a manager/CEO/people leader, staff watch and listen to you, and have expectations of you in your role. They want you to action or at least feedback to them there is or isn’t progress.

And closer to home, Heads Up, the workplace educational unit at Beyond Blue in Australia, tells us that Psychological mental health is exacerbated when there is a lack of feedback about performance. And the cost associated with unhealthy workplaces which cause depression and anxiety costs Australian workplaces $10.8 Billion each year in lost productivity and compensation expenses.

Fact: Feedback motivates people

Motivating people might involve giving them a bonus but true motivation is the conversation that you have which acknowledges their effort, skill and the impact they’ve made. The effort and time you take to identify where they can improve, change or increase their performance is what motivates them.

Humans have an intrinsic motive to know that they’ve done a good job – so they’re expecting your recognition and praise – this is your opportunity to give feedback.

Martin Seligman, ‘father’ of Positive Psychology created the model, PERMA which identifies the elements that help people lead happy and fulfilling lives. Positive emotions (feeling good), Engagement (finding flow – immersion in what we do), Relationships (connections with people that you trust), Meaning (understand impact of life’s work), and Accomplishments (push us to thrive & flourish). Essentially, if your communication is constant and your feedback is welcomed, you’re helping people find true happiness in what they do while they work with you.

Martin Seligman’s PERMA model - understanding how to help people search for their happiness in their work assists you have rich conversations.

Martin Seligman’s PERMA model - understanding how to help people search for their happiness in their work assists you have rich conversations.

As Andy Grove, (former CEO & Co-founder of Intel) said, “a manager can damage morale, motivation and productivity of their teams based on their actions, or inaction. According to the Gallup’s study of managers, they found that the manager accounts for at least 70% of the variance in employee engagement.” The manager has such an important role, it rises above their technical expertise.

Ken Blanchard (PhD, management expert, author) coined the phrase, Feedback is the breakfast of Champions. And, Peter Drucker (author, management expert) told us that Culture eats Strategy for breakfast. What I say is, if you have a culture which is continually engaged in conversations including feedback – no matter which role a person is in, then you’ll make it to lunch!

 The Key Act: Follow up with Feedback

We spend days setting strategy, creating objectives for our people to achieve and identifying the key results to focus on and specific actions to complete (add up all those hours) – yet, what hours do we spend following up their progress?

I’m excited when I hear leaders tell me that the spend 5-10 minutes every week following up the people in their reach, providing feedback, seeking feedback and solving problems together. What disappoints me is when I hear staff tell me that they only receive feedback at their annual performance review (which they’ve written themselves).

Checking in on a daily, weekly or stretched out to monthly (depends on you and the individual) is a goal to set to seek and give feedback on performance.

“Hey, let’s talk about the presentation to the board. I’m confused about two items which you raised – can we discuss it now? There is no blaming here – it’s a good example of accountability of follow up feedback. This gives you the data and permission to keep the conversation alive and online.

 The Feedback Goal: Feedback makes an impact

Consider the best feedback you’ve ever received.

Who gave it to you? What did they say?

I recall being told I said “OK” numerous times (try 70!) during a 45-minute practice presentation. Wow, it hit me like a tonne of bricks – I was totally unaware that I was an OK factory! That was almost 30 years ago, and I still recall receiving this piece of feedback. It was delivered directly, it wasn’t sugar coated, and I was thankful for their honesty.

What feedback could you give, right now, to someone in your workplace?

What would you say?

How would you say it so that it lands well and creates a positive conversation?

I hope this stretches your holding zone. Moving from your place in the comfort zone to the stretch zone or better still, I hope it freaks you out! And, quite rightly, it will freak you out because most of us suck at it.

 The Workplace Goal: Let’s create Feedback opportunities

These opportunities present themselves every day, every hour and every minute.

It’s important that you observe people or at least hear them. You could be in a meeting, watching a staff member serve a customer or be in the middle of a conversation with a colleague.

If you see what you want to see or hear what you don’t want to hear – act as close to this moment as possible. Catch people doing the right thing and stop the wrong thing reoccurring.

I have a client whose leadership team shares and seeks feedback at each meeting. They commence with observed ‘strengths ‘in play and the impact they’ve witnessed and secondly, they (now) confidently share where they have ‘overdone the strength’ – with the outcome being a negative impact. This has been a game changer for this organisation. They have very quickly come a culture of feedback.

 The Workplace Skill: Giving & Receiving Feedback

It takes skill to say it with the right intent, in a timely manner, in the right way to make the other person feel alright about receiving the feedback.

Everyone needs to be on board to know that it’s their role to receive feedback. And, that they have permission, that they are accountable to give feedback too.

Here’s an example of feedback which I recently received:

Louise, thank-you (gratitude) for your prompt response with the information I requested (specific task identified) it enabled me to quickly complete an important task for a client (connecting my involvement) – my client was surprised with the promptness and it looks like we may be closer to working on the project together. I really appreciate your help. (Impact)

There are many ‘right ways’ to give feedback – models, methods and frameworks which work for different situations and personalities.

Don’t get stuck using one technique – it might not be the right feedback technique for every situation and individual.

The Four F model is a great Feedback model - one of many which I share with clients during workshops.

The Four F model is a great Feedback model - one of many which I share with clients during workshops.

 The Feedback Challenge: What will you do now?

If your intent is to positively improve the performance of your people, it’s clear what impact you’re seeking, then I can fill the ‘skill’ void – I will use suite of intelligence tools needed to seamlessly seal the intent.

If you are the CEO/the boss, then you can set yourself a key result of giving feedback every day.

How about you start today.

Your challenge is: to give feedback to three people and ask one person for feedback.

When receiving feedback, don’t accept, “you’re doing a good job”; rather respond with, “thanks, would you tell me specifically what I did today that you thought was good.”

Once you have your Feedback Skills embedded into your culture, and you no longer suck at it, you’ll question if you really need a Performance Management System or you’ll be surprised how more effective the process of appraisals becomes when Feedback is at the core.

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My seasonal focus is Feedback. If you value communication in your workplace, please read my White Paper on Feedback Skills, Click Here to request a copy.

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HOW WELL-BEING BUILDS LEADERSHIP

Well-being builds your leadership. Being self-aware, you take more notice of your behaviour and how this shows up in how you lead your life.

We demonstrate five ways that we help people put their well-being centre of attention and how this will show up in leading a more effective (and happy) life.

Read More

STOP DEFERRING YOUR LIFE PLAN

Stop Deferring Your Life Plan

I’ve been sleeping with Tim Ferriss for several years.

His book, ‘The 4-Hour Workweek’ has laid on my husband’s bedside table and as I wake, it’s what I see first. During the occasional dust and polish, I’ve held him, intrigued with what my husband has done with his new found knowledge … and yes, I’m still waiting!

Sadly, Tim left my bedroom and on Sunday evening as I searched my bookshelf for my ninth book, we were reunited and he’s been back in the bedroom all week!

It now makes sense, that those in my network circles have also slept with Tim: the mention of Virtual Assistants, Automation, and precision time-management are immediate clues of those who’ve had an affair to remember.

Allowing Tim into your life will crank open your mind to the ‘new rich’ paradigm which I know many of you will scoff at, but pushing beyond that, you’ll discover BIG opportunities lying between the sheets.

I see three reasons to grab hold of, The 4-Hour Workweek:

·        If you want to reduce your busyness in your workplace and in life

·        If you live to work, and

·        If you’re wanting to connect with the entrepreneurial spirit lurking in our DNA.

In my world, it’s easy to be negligent of my faults, ineffective habits, and practices which don’t add value to my clients let alone to my financial statement. So, by reading this book, I connected with the critical message – be accountable for your performance so that you can live a happy life.

How do you influence happiness in your business?

I would be disappointed in myself if I didn’t nudge you enough to ponder the possibilities which Tim’s book offers; it oozes innovation and creative thinking and most importantly if encourages people to spend time working at what they love doing and be at their best, feeling that they’re achieving their self-worth.

How’s your self-worth? Feeling happy with life?

So, here’s a few insights from ‘The 4-Hour Workweek’:

Be reflective – determine your life purpose; the current journey towards your purpose and answer this question – If today was the last day of your life, would you be doing what you have planned for the day?

Tackle boredom – being the opposite of happiness – map out the parts of your life which aren’t creating happiness and determine what you need to change; in other words, break the status quo.

Plan for the now – write down what you want to do, when you want to complete it by and in particular, the cost (Tim measures everything) – then determine how you can achieve that plan now – Yep, put your 20-year-old mindset on and consider what you don’t need, be minimalistic and work out a way to do it.

Experiment with mini-retirements - rather than plan the big trip in fifteen years when you retire from this life, calculate how you can do part of it within the next six months. Consider working while you travel, influence the decision makers in your life to work enable you work remotely and live your life now.

Note: This book was written approximately ten years ago – and in that time people have taken this traveling idea on board and many people are working remotely and numerous organizations are great enablers.

Say “No” - and get good at it. This is your training to eliminate the need to meet people face to face or even reduce the evil email flow. Be polite and eloquent with your refusals, however, determine the value or need of having to use your time in the presence of others. I’m sure the meeting minimisation is a no brainer for some, and a challenge for others. It’s a habit to break.

Explore being smart – given the technology and services at our disposal, we should all be smart. Cost your time and determine who else could do it for you at a cheaper rate. Explore automation – as a friend recently said: “if I do the same thing twice, it’s my trigger to automate the process.” Very wise words. The simplest example is automating email replies to educate your clients, colleagues, and community.

Finally, the phrase which grabbed my absolute attention: people defer their life plan. People wait their life out. I often hear "when" proceeding their goal statements. Here’s hoping that this read will push people to do things now.

We can all take Tim to bed and learn a few ideas, practices or just be amused at his many life adventures.  Or, jump onto his web site – www.fourhourworkweek.com