Mindset - Dr Carol S. Dweck Psychologist – Stanford University
The new psychology of success. (Especially for parenting teenagers!)
Listening to Mindset generated an awkward awareness that I have both a fixed and a growth mindset. Whilst the goal is to have a growth mindset, my awareness leaves the door open for me to fix and learn to change my mindset in the areas I’ve identified as fixed.
I can use my growth mindset to change and challenge these beliefs. For example - I hear myself say “I’m not creative when I draw on the whiteboard.” So, I now ask myself, “why do I think and feel this way; who has told me that I’m not creative?”
Fixed & Growth Mindsets
So, what is our mindset and the difference between fixed and growth?
And what is a Mindset?
Firstly, a mindset is simply a belief – we’ve made this belief up given our interpretation and assumptions in life.
A Fixed mindset is simply that – we are fixed in our belief about matters. We don’t see a need to change, rather rest on our current knowledge, beliefs and talent relating to that matter.
Whereas, a Growth mindset will embrace changes, failures, feedback and seeks out opportunities and challenges to learn.
Mindsets in Life
Of most value I gained whilst listening is the effect we have on our children.
Every comment we make sends a message and interpreted by the child. Example: “You learned that so quickly.”
A child will hear that if they don’t learn something quickly, they’re dumb. Rather, we need to praise their effort and ask them about the strategy they used to learn it quickly.
Don’t judge and don’t be a slave to praise; praising intelligence and talent won’t help.
Change the way you think and discipline yourself to acknowledge hard work, their process & growth in what they learn.
When we signed up to have these kids, there was no manual!
In this latest edition of her book, (first launched in 2007) Carol has included a whole chapter dedicated to ‘Parents, Teachers & Coaches (for Athletes)’ highlighting the importance of reflecting on the words we use.
I experimented with my son Patrick (15). He excitedly told me that he achieved an A in his Maths exam. I concealed my desire to jump and yell and give High Fives, rather I asked him, So Patrick, what did you do differently this time? This elicited a response of “I focused in class.” If I had High Fived him, we couldn’t have explored what he learned from the process which I could then praise, praise the process of the achievement.
As a parent or adult, the greatest gift you can give is the desire to want to love challenges and seek new strategies.
I want to set my kids up for future employers as I can see lazy mindsets in our young folk – fixed mindsets and I blame their parents (and some of their teachers).
Goals for a Growth Mindset:
· Embrace challenges
· Look for opportunities to learn something new everyday
· Boost your resilience to accomplish a change
· Effort, Learning & Persistence
· See change as an opportunity
· Focus on the doing and the effort
Do you have a Fixed Mindset:
· Avoids challenges
· Gives up easily
· See efforts as fruitless or worse
· Ignores useful feedback
· Feels threatened by the success of others
I’ve listened to this a couple of times, which is the beauty of Audible – I can quickly revisit a chapter while I’m driving or cooking.
Will you or have you read Mindset. I’d welcome to read or hear about what you learnt and to understand what you’ve changed.