THE NEED FOR DISCOMFORT

THE NEED FOR DISCOMFORT

Here I am, at my 21st book, reviewing its content using my leadership lens. To be honest, the lens fell off at times and I found myself shifting in my seat with the discomfort of truth.  Powerful questions made me stop and ponder, thinking about my current life, causing more discomfort.

My new discomfort is still being experienced as I am yet to complete the many exercises I commenced (they could take some time which I don’t have at the moment) which all appeared so very worthwhile. (I hope I get back to them.)

The Unlimited Self by Jonathan Heston was a free download onto my Kindle. I was dubious … as they say ‘you get what you pay for’ so I was pleasantly surprised that I was onto something great.

Jonathan has produced a useful ‘self-help’ book which I believe is a crucial read for those who are either looking for the next best thing in life or on the extreme end of the life continuum, experiencing doubt in their life and need support; in particular, guidance with a path or map to follow.

From a leadership perspective, The Unlimited Self offers a new communication style and language to help the leader understand how to help people who are in their comfort zone and need to be pushed to their edge – to feel some vulnerability or at least feel a need for change.

I highlighted these particular statements which I’ve reread a few times:

·        Accept the reality of your weakness – its feedback where you can grow.

·        Perceptions hold you back – from where you are and where you want to be

·        Limiting beliefs are stories our mind feeds us which limit who we are and where we want to go. They disempower instead of empowering us.

·        We need to love and respect ourselves or everything disintegrates. We are the only filter between the world and ourselves.

·        Authenticity is you being the best you that you can possibly be.

·        Work harder on who you are, more than what you do.

·        How we view others is often a mirror of how we view ourselves.

·        Vulnerability is one of the most difficult habits to practice and develop. But it’s also incredibly rewarding

Like many of the books I have been reading, it is crowded with quotes … here’s a powerful one which: 

 

To destroy our limiting beliefs, and uncover the inner greatness, Jonathon suggests we need to reprogram our future self by:

·        Practising forgiveness as it is fundamental to free your perspective – even if you forgive yourself first. Try writing a forgiveness letter (you don’t have to send it).

·        Talking to our self! Try talking to yourself in the mirror (without giggling), out loud with meaning. Make powerful statements about your identity.

·        Meditating to be comfortable with yourself – 15-30 minutes a day (Yikes – this is my discomfort)

·        Use a journal morning and evening – writing questions that you seek to be answered by your subconscious mind and using it to write what you appreciate in life (I’ve changed from gratitude to appreciation.)

·        Find a group of people who allow you to be your future self – who are also wanting to live on the edge.

Reading books like this one make you pause from your busy hectic life. They make you ask questions of yourself and hopefully you’ll make time to answer them truthfully. Powerfully simple questions such as “Am I happy?”

To be an effective authentic leader, I suggest you read this book as it’s a great little tool to help you to help your team of followers be authentic. You could read it together!

Note: I also felt a level of discomfort with the references to ‘God’ in the second half of the book. I found it evoked my cynicism (very unlike me) and I am yet to understand why. I almost stopped reading the book because of this, however, I soldiered on, thankfully.

 

I’m endeavouring to read 52 Business/Professional/Personal Development books in 52 weeks. Yep, that’s one a week. As I read each book, I’ll share my thoughts, learning and recommendations. If there is a book that you’ve been meaning to read, let me know and I’ll read it for us!

 

What's in your worry box?

What's in your Worry Box?

If you're confused or want to answer "Worry Beads" then I suspect you're like many and need a reminder or an introduction to Immunity to Change.

The book is a great introduction to the Immunity Map which will uncover what prevents you from changing.

 

We all carry a Worry Box around with us; it's in our mind and it hasn't been opened for some time. When we do, it's generally to add an additional worry!

Whilst I make light of this debilitating unconscious system in our body and persona it is the perfect metaphor to create  awareness to the number of worries which we have about our performance.

At a professional development session which I attended this week, Michelle Sales reconnected us with the valuable insights of Lisa Laskow Lahey and Robert Kegan from their book (their life's work),  Immunity to Change. We all know that we need to change or help others in the process of change however what we don't know well enough is what prevents us changing.

During our session we created our personal 'Immunity Map' following the process which I had read about, completed 80% of a MOOC on with the authors and within minutes of this session, it finally clicked into place! (I'm not sure if I am a slow learner or it's a challenging concept!)

The map template is very simple in construction and it's the process of questions which uncover the complexity which we store away in the worry box. So, it's very effective is you take the opportunity to work through this model with an experienced coach or practitioner. 

For me, I have a neat set of questions and an additional model to add to my repertoire to challenge and probe my clients when I coach, mentor and work with them and their teams. (Immunity to Change is very useful for team goals too.)

I highly recommend you explore Immunity to Change and welcome your inquiry to understand why you're still not achieving the leadership performance goal which you've set yourself or which has been set for you.

 

 

  

create space to plan

In preparation for your 2016 planning, consider creating space. By space, I mean a clean, clear and conscious mind to enable you to travel the journey of possibilities in the future. Our mind is cluttered with way too much stuff, requiring us to squeeze past thoughts, memories and emotions.

Creating space requires you to remove: the quiet and loud voices in your head, memories of previous plans which you've attempted and not completed and any doubt about your abilities which lingers.

Creating space requires you to practise: journaling on paper or on your device - your thoughts and feelings in relation to activities and experiences in your day, observing what others are doing which you admire and inspired by and providing feedback to others - telling people what you've wanted to share with them (positive & negative) in a constructive approach (refer to my previous Blogs using SBI).

Successful planning is attributed to the time and space created in the preparation stage - like change, it's works best when everyone is engaged. In this case, engaging your mind, controlling it to work for you rather than against you.

Off you go and create space to plan - it's time for a #new90dayplan.